Jo's Journey

so well!

I am having a good week, my head is back in the game and so much so that i have also decided to give today's WI a miss and go to one tomorrow.

My reason for this is that I am off home at the weekend so should that 'i am going away so let's start the eating fest early' mindset appear, i have at least one more day on plan.

The way i feel at the moment that is not going to happen and i really want to be controlled when i am there but never say never, i have to a realist, i know how easily i am swayed! :o(

SP is looking good, i hope it's as good tomorrow!

And i could be lambasted for this but those that really know me also know i speak my mind.

Over the last week or so the boards seem to be full of a lot of 'returners'
People that have lost a fair bit or even got to goal and let it slip and gain all and more.

We all know stats say that a certain % of people will regain all their weight and more and of course, having been there, done that i know that all too well.

So this time i am not going to do that (please god, fingers crossed, willpower willing etc etc)
I am going to have to think of the total embarrassment if i had to present myself at 18 st 7 or possibly more and admit that i lost control, yet again.

This may seem cruel and i am not having a dig at any particular person as i know this road is darn hard but i am going to have to fight this all the way.

I do not want to go back to 5+ with my tail between my legs and having to admit i am a failure!

As for this week, so far so good,the temptation to have something 'naughty' kicked in before dinner but i managed to resist and had creamy mushrooms on a jacket spud while dear hubby had a massive 6 egg omelette and a plate of chips!

Ps......At that rate he can be a in store Santa next year Lol

Oh well, it gets worse, i braved weigh in on Tuesday, or should i say i was dragged along kicking and screaming by Catcadbury from ww 5+ and i gained another 3lb.

So i have changed my ticker and you will see i am now 1.5lbs over goal again, that makes 8.5lb gain in 3 weeks but it was all deserved so i have no complaints and just maybe this has been the massive kick in the rear that i needed to sort myself out.

Saying that, all is not lost, i have still to date lost over 7 stone,i have been at goal for 7 months, i can still fit into my clothes and more importantly i have not given up and will carry on fighting this battle which i know and admit will stay with me for the rest of my life.

The most important thing i have done is keep going to class, yes i might gain one week, lose another and stay in that cycle more often than not. That is something i have to convince myself is now real life for me. I 'could' have walked out of class the day i got to goal and thought i had it sussed, and if i had, i wonder where i would be now, to be honest i KNOW i would be bigger than i am now.

I wish i could be one of these people that get to goal and say my habits have changed so much and i will never again eat crap but i know that's not me, there's no point lying to myself or to anyone else for that matter, i wouldn't have got to 18st 7 if i didn't have a problem with food would i?

I have changed in the respect that if i have a binge like i did the 3 weeks prior to Christmas i do actually get to the stage where i stop myself and need to eat healthy again, so that is a bonus.

So here we go again, i am back on the wagon, eating really well, hoping to drop some of that gain in weeks to come ....
BUT
I have the next 2 weekends away so it's not going to be easy but after that, i have no excuse!

Wish me luck and can someone stand by ready to give me a boot up the backside if they feel i am waivering?

a gain of 4.5 lbs!

But...

I'm ok with that as i had a ball, and believe me, i have eaten and drunk alcohol for Britain so it's no surprise at all.

As the saying goes, when i am good (on plan) i am angelic, when i am bad, I'm bloomin good at that too!

It sort of all went downhill after the works Xmas party, the idea was to have a good week on plan before this weekend gone when i had a gig planned,typically i never got back on the wagon at all.

This weekend we went to a long awaited gig of my favourite band in Derby, you know when the barman asks in the first pub 'Do you want to double up for an extra £1?' that it's all going to go horribly wrong, i went on to have at probably another 15-20Malibu's and of course after a few i didn't know or care whether i was having diet coke or full fat coke with it.

We rolled in about 3am, and considering after that many drinks i didn't even feel drunk but sadly, when i woke up Sunday morning i thought i was dying.....Lol

We then decide to do it all again Sunday night and follow them to Manchester and after feeling rough all day and swearing i wasn't drinking again that night, the first drink i order was a Malibu, well, i thought the hair of the dog might work!?

Another great night,sadly this time followed by a cheeseburger and chips on the way home, which i was so busy scoffing instead of navigating that i got us so horribly lost and we end up in the high peak district somewhere,so ridiculously far from civilisation it was unreal, although i am sure it's beautiful in daylight!

Suffice to say it took an extra hour to get home, ie 2am, which leads to yesterday, VERY tired, VERY hungover and absolutely no self control as regards to food or diet.

Anyway, as of this morning, i am back on plan,there are 9 full days until Xmas so i will plan/try to stay on track until then, wish me luck!

Well i put the last 3 xmas parties pics together and at cats request have put them on here, let's just hope by next year i am not larger than this years!

and considering how badly i fell off the wagon at the weekend, i am more than happy with that.

I have done a lot of walking since the weekend so i expect that's counteracted a bit and it has got me moving again, i had become more reliant on buses to get to town/work and i needed a kick to get me going again.

Works Christmas do this weekend so i will be as angelic as possible until then, but after all, it's a Christmas dinner, which as we know, needn't be high in points, now the alcohol, that's a different matter!

Off to walk into town now to keep busy :o)